live.laugh.love

I giggle without reserve or restraint, for laughter brings light and joy to my life.

I treasure every happy moment shared with friends and family.

I marvel in awe at the little things that make our world so beautiful.

To experience love and human emotion in the deepest intensity,

That is what it means to live life to the very fullest.

The date is January 20, 2010. Twenty-one years, six months, and three days ago, I was blessed with the precious gift of life. Because no person is ever guaranteed a tomorrow, I seek to live each day passionately and with meaning. But I realize that it is impossible to always succeed at doing so. Many days, I am more apathetic than I would care to be, and I fail to seize opportunities that would distinguish that day from any other. Still, questioning and examining the way I live my life is something that occurs on a daily basis. Most people cannot make this claim. Hectic schedules and never-ending responsibilities become circadian routine. To contemplate one's existence regularly is a daunting and intimidating task. For me, it has become a vital part of each and every day. It reminds me to be grateful and appreciative that I am even alive to be capable of such philosophical thought.

I love nourishing my intellectual curiosity with obscure bits of knowledge. Exercise animates my soul when I feel the rush of blood and energy flowing through my veins. Web design projects fuel my imagination and provide an avenue for creative expression. The sensation of soaring into the heights of the sky is like no other when my spirit becomes one with the playground swing. I relish the fleeting moments spent flying freely through the air, the driving force behind the long hours of training I dedicate to the sport of cheerleading. My taste buds delight in the indulgence of savory food and smooth red wines. Shopping for unnecessary luxuries is admittedly a guilty pleasure I seek out more often than is sensible for my bank account. Despite however trivial these things are in the grand scheme of life, they are still sources of happiness for me.

Living happily does not equate to living with purpose though. For one's life to hold meaning, one must be of worth and value to something or someone else. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an aunt, niece, grandchild, and cousin. I am a friend. I am a captain of a team. I am a leader of an LGBTQ organization. I am a web and tech volunteer for a non-profit in California. I am an employee of the college. I am a professor's student. I am a neighbor. "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." (Matthew 7:12) Out of love and respect for the people and commitments I care about, I hold myself responsible for nurturing and maintaining those relationships. To live with purpose however, one must unconditionally love someone or something beyond one's own extrinsic motivations.

mr. clean magic eraser

thanks to my wishful perception and poor judgment of space, my silver nissan suffered some pretty bad scrapes---as evidenced by the streaks of white across the passenger's side of the car. (most of you will hear the backstory at some point... if you're unenlightened and still curious, just ask me!) anyway, in desperate attempt to cover it up and leave my parents in total oblivion, i got a small bottle of touch-up paint from the store. as you can probably guess, it was a BAD idea. the color didn't match well at all. instead of giving up and calling the dealership, i went back and exchanged it for another shade. my handiwork looked a little better this time, but still, it was nothing amazing. i turned to the internet in search of some advice, and much to my dismay, it appeared that a trip to the body shop would take quite a chunk of change.

just as i was about to lose hope, i came across a brilliant google search result---mr. clean magic erasers worked miracles in taking out paint left from other cars. and that's when it hit me. maybe the white blemishes came from the paint on the garage, and maybe my car was more or less uninjured in the first place! so i left for the store this morning in high spirits, excited about the possibility that the answer may lie with mr. clean. i found a box of the "extra power" and rushed home to put it to the test. despite the warnings about not using magic eraser on a vehicle body, IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM. after a lot of scrubbing (in below freezing temperatures!) the mismatched silver paint came off, and with it, the white paint as well. it turns out my nissan was okay all along!

needless to say, i'm a happy (and much less stressed) little camper :)

the game of life

who knew a fairly simple board game could be so... entertaining (and thought-provoking)? i played for the first time today ~ i went to college, studied to be a vet, went to grad school, lost my job and became an athlete, got married and had a son at some point, and then retired ~ all within an hour. though primarily a game of chance, each player is forced to make a decision at multiple points on the board. when i reach those "orange spaces" in reality, which paths will i choose to pursue? i'll have to figure things out soon, but i still have some time. in the words of how i met your mother, i'll let "future jean" worry about it ;)

by the way, my 11-year old cousin won the game... with her 9-year old sister close behind.

vision

i know for a fact that i can make a difference within the walls of woodsville high school. it might be the hardest thing i will have ever done, but i am determined to finally effect some change. i'm ready for the challenge---is whs ready? probably not. i don't know how i'm ever going to make my way into a system that is so afraid of moving forward fearlessly toward something better for its unmotivated and apathetic students.... but i'll find a way.

mark my words.

home && still not done :/

i've been home for six hours and have yet to finish the final paper for english romanticism... i'm not exactly sure when it's due, but i REALLY should get it done tonight. professor losano has already been incredibly understanding and wonderful and amazing ~ i LOVED her class. i still can't believe that senior year is half over...

well, it's paper-writing time.

william wordsworth <3